Secret

It's a dance around the truth
Hiding and silent
Darkened corners and silent looks
You think I can't see

Don't you know
Betrayal hurts worse than the truth
the lies are like wounds to my heart
It hides in my mind

My confidence is behind bars made of steel
My heart behind a wall of stone
How can I trust
In shadows and deception

I put my trust in the Lord
I put my heart in the hands of Him
Who was betrayed by Judas' kiss
The truth and life

He knows the beginning and the end
He catches my tears in a bottle
He is faithful and true
In Him I can believe.

Love

Young dreamer dancing under the stars

She's naive and full of passion and excitement

She envisions her prince, strong and handsome

Outstretched hand she places hers in his

And they dance

Time races in stealing her dreams and leaving her captive

To the reality of what won't be and unfulfilled desires

But at night she confides in the stars

Her prince she still imagines but for now she's alone

And she dances

Tears fall gently against her soft flushed cheek

The dreamer is gone and in her place is a disillusioned woman

Under the stars she cries to God, afraid and alone

Outstretched hand she places her in His

And they dance

Her eyes on Him her heart rests in His

He restores her dreams under the stars

She smiles when He gives her a dream in her heart

A prince, not chosen but given, strong and handsome

And while she waits, she dances

Ummm...ok, this is another country!!

My friend, Artoria, was staying with me for a wedding of a mutual friend. We decided to take a trip to Lexington and Port Huron. She loves the water and wanted to see the bridge to Canada again. So, off we went. We enjoyed a day of basking in the sun and snapping pictures of us on the rocks and near the water, then we headed on to Port Huron to continue our day of fun. Little did we know that our day of fun would turn into an experience we wouldn't soon forget. Artoria has never been to Canada and so she is fascinated by the fact that she was so close to another country. So, when she spotted a sign with an arrow that said Bridge To Canada she had to stop to take a picture. We turned onto the road the arrow was pointing at and pulled to the side of the road. I hopped out snapped a few pictures and climbed back in the car. "Ok, I got it. Let's go." I said. And off we went. As soon as we started to drive up this road I asked her, "Where are we going?" "I didn't see a place to turn around," she replied. I was silent, and then she asked, "Is this the on ramp to the bridge?" "I believe so, that's why I asked you where you were going," I said, with a hint of panic in my voice. We proceeded arguing about how there was no place to turn around and maybe there was someplace up ahead just as we rounded the curve and beheld a sight that put fear and panic in both of us. A few yards ahead of us was the toll booth and no place to turn around. "What are we going to do..what are we going to do....what do I do?" She rambled at me as I gribbed the door for comfort and replied in a high pitched voice, "I don't know, I don't know what to do." We inched our way forward dreading the moment we reached the formidable toll booth. "Ok, calm down." I said. "Ok, I can handle this," she replied. We pulled up to the window and were told it's $1.50 American and $2.00 Canadian. Artoria laughed, "Umm, we didn't actually mean to get on here." The toll booth lady smiled a patronizing smile, "That happens all the time, but once your on you have to go all the way through." "Don't we need a passport or a birth certificate?" I asked. "Nope" we were told, "Just your ID." So we paid her and off we went. As we slowly made our way across the bridge Artoria started freaking out, "I'm going to Canada. I'm going to Canada." She then proceeded to text or call everyone she knew. Meanwhile, I'm picturing us getting carted away in Canadian police cruisers, questioned and locked away. "Calm down," I told her, "We don't want them to think we are suspicious." As she proceeded to tamp down her excitement, I couldn't stop laughing due to fear and nerves. Artoria put me on picture taking duty and I proceeded to take pictures of anything "Canadian". Thankfully we both managed to compose ourselves when we reached the Canadian security guard. "Do you have your passport?" "No" Artoria replied. "Do you have your birth certifcate?" "No" Artoria said again. "Ok, ummm...this is another country", her voice dripped with disdain. "Yeah, we didn't mean to get on here," Artoria said with a voice that said please don't hurt me. "Oh," she smiled at us, "Well that happens all the time, in that case you just need your ID. I'll just need to ask you a few questions and and give you a piece of paper." We both exhaled. After she asked us a few questions she handed us a yellow slip of paper, "Ok now just pull to the right up there and the police will show you where to park and then you will need to go into immigration and give them this." We pulled ahead (as I snapped pictures of the Canada sign) we were told where to park and pointed inside. We headed into the building and into immigration. The lady took our piece of paper after listening to our story and asked us to have a seat. We waited while she typed something into a computer then she called us up to her counter and asked us where we were born and what our nationality was. She then stamped our piece of paper and told us we could go. Out we went to our car, gave the cops our little piece of paper and then were shown the direction to leave. We snapped pictures of any Canadian thing we saw as we left. We thought we were home free until we reached the American security guard. He questioned us thoroughly, checked our trunk, questioned us some more, and the whole time tried not to laugh at us. "Well, normally I would have you go inside and we would question you some more, but your story seems to check out," He told us. I think we both breathed a sigh of relief. We finally made it back into our homeland, with a story neither one of us will forget.

Selfish! Who Me?

I recently took a week long fast from facebook and partially from the internet. I was inspired by two of my close friends. What I discovered is that I can survive without the internet. I can communicate without facebook. By the end of my week, I was learning to be completely caught up in the presence of God. I spent time reading and practicing my guitar. I was able to completely disengage myself from this part of technology for a couple of days and I was almost reluctant to return. I do have to say that the internet is a valuable resource when you need to research something or find a Bible verse, but it shouldn't be something that rules my life. I am amazed at how much better I can hear God's voice when I silence the world around me. It is my passion to continue to grow closer to Him in every area, and during this fast I discovered things that were keeping me from having a closer walk with Jesus. It was painful and enlightening. One thing that was revealed to me was how selfish and self-centered I am. I didn't even realize that I had become so wrapped up in myself that I don't take the time to invest in the pain of others. I assume it is because I have lived on my own for a year now. I have no husband to remind me daily of my selfishness or children to force me out of this self-centerdness. I was able to look back over my life over the past 6 months or so and was amazed to find that my choices in life were motivated by a selfishness. I cringed when I thought of how many times I had avoided or ignored my family simply because I didn't want to be inconvenienced or because I wanted things my way. I felt saddened when I remembered times I had placed myself before others, mistreated and took advantage of my friends and basically elevated myself in my own eyes. The question is, now that I am aware of this sinful nature in me, what am I going to do about it? I pray that God will change me to be more and more like Him. May I everyday learn to put others above myself and never think that anyone else is below me.

Philippians 2:3-4

"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

It's a Wonderful Life?

Have you ever wondered... what's the point? Why do I exist? For what purpose did God put me on this earth for? I know as a Christian our ultimate reason for our existence is to bring glory to God and to bring others to Him. However, what does that mean for me personally? Why was I put together the way I was? Why did God choose to give me the personality, likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses and talents that He did. Why was I placed in the family that I was born into? Why my parents? Why did He make me look the way I do? Why brown eyes? Why am I an average height, not short or tall? What is my great purpose in life? These are all things that I have wondered many times before, and yet I seem to never have an answer. For a time I will find some small menial thing to occupy me and give me a sense of purpose and then when it loses it's sparkle, I am back to wondering again why God placed me where He did. I mean has my life this far been worthwhile? Have I touched any lives in a way that had I not existed their lives would have been different for not knowing me. It's like the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" when George wishes he would have never been born. He then gets to see what Life would have been like if he had never existed. The world became a dark and dreary place without him. So many lives were effected by his inexistence. Sometimes, I wish that I too could see what the world would have been like without me in it. I wonder if it is true what the angel Clarence said to George, "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"

I love comics!! I remember every Sunday morning when I was little I would sit and read the comics while I ate breakfast. They provide me with some humor for my day and sometimes throughout the week. If they are really good, I share them with other people. This Sunday I didn't get to read them until the evening, but they didn't let me down. I laughed really hard, which caused my friend to want to know what was so funny. He quickly joined me in my perusal of the comics and his reaction to one of them made me laugh really hard. The one above was probably the best one in the paper this Sunday. It made me laugh well into the night. But, probably what made me laugh the most was my friend's reaction to one comic strip. The comic strip showed a frog giving a demonstration on how to survive an elephant stampede. At the end the elephant that was helping him give the demonstration stepped on him. In the last frame it showed the elephant's hoof with the frog squished to it. "This will only work if you are a frog," The frog said. All was quiet as he read the comic and then I heard him quietly say, in a surprised voice, "He squished him." I lost it. He sounded so concerned for this poor squished frog. "What," he said, "He did, just look at him, he is like a puddle of green, it's like he isn't even a frog anymore." Again I dissolved into giggles. I couldn't help it. Even now the thought of his reaction makes me start giggling to myself. Maybe I'm easily amused, but it defintely makes life alot more joyous.

Emotional Men?

I have come to the conclusion, that men are just as emotional as women. They just don't show it as much. Or they try not to let anyone see. Men, I have a little word for you; YOU ARE HUMAN!! We won't laugh at you when you cry(for a valid reason). I have seen my dad tear up when Butterfly Kisses comes on the radio. I have seen my Grandpa's tear up during an especially moving prayer. I have heard stories from my sister about my brother-in-law being moved to tears. Tears are healing. They are a sign that you really are human. I have recently gotten to know a few guys a little better and the majority of them are going through some sort of a hardship in their lives. When I see their pain and sorrow, it only increases mine. It does not disgust me or make me think any less of them. In fact it raises my opinion of them. So, men, just let it out. Go to the women in your life and just have a good cry on their shoulder. For once, let them comfort you. You might be surprised how good you will feel afterwords.